Saturday, May 22, 2010

Cheaters it's really your problem, not your mates

Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive." -- Sir Walter Scott

Years ago now an again you would read a story about a business man whom had managed to cheat on his spouse by having another wife out of the area. Sadly now because of cyberspace its much easer for cheaters to prosper.
"Until recently, adultery has been a sin of the flesh. Temptation arrives, chemistry sizzles and before long the unfaithful spouse is spending stolen nights in cheap hotels. Now there is a new threat: the virtual affair. While some argue online affairs aren't real, research shows some spouses take them as seriously as the offline variety - and they're becoming a gateway to divorce.

Cyber lovers many times started as just friends on but quickly move from chat to photo-swapping, intimate confessions and cybersex. It can become as consuming as a real relationship. Tell-tale signs of a virtual affair, says the Centre for Online and Internet Addiction, are sitting at the computer into the early hours, moving it into an office and locking the door, becoming obsessive about passwords, ignoring chores and spending less time engaged with the household. Check out the CNN video Facebook a tool for infidelity?

There's no clear profile of who cheats online or why. Some studies suggest they tend to be tertiary-educated, professional men who feel unfulfilled and isolated in their relationships or want easy, anonymous sex. Like offline cheaters, they might be narcissistic

The anonymity, ease and affordability of the internet make it a cheater's dream. The pool of temptations, limited in the real world, widens to hundreds of thousands in the cyber world.

Ways To Unmask A Liar

Many times a spouse will claim its not Infidelity that the problem is all in the mind of the wounded spouse. I suspected she was being untrue a real coquette so I checked the computer and found out I was right. However she has twisted all this in her head to the point where the only violation of trust is by me snooping in her business. She almost had me thinking I was wrong for invading her privacy. Amazing what people will do to protect themselves from reality and responsibility!

Signs they may be cheating on you:
1) When questioned about your worries they demand privacy. How dare you question them!
2) They claim they need to relax on the Internet away from you.
3) When you walk by them when they are on the computer they quickly minimize widows or close their laptop.
4) They say they "need space". This one is the red flag you will find that anytime someone makes this claim they up to no good and something nefarious is going on.
5) They have zero patience for you (and children if you have any). This is because you are taking away time that could be spent with their new "friend".

A few quotes from cheaters:
"you are so suspicious, you need help because its all in your head"
"Its not cheating if we did not have sex!"
"I wouldn't do that to you. I swear"
"Oh, she is just like a sister to me, that's all"
"I don't know why I gave her or him my phone number"
"yes I have a girlfriend, but we don't have sex, I discuss with her the problems we are having in our marriage"
"Nothing is happening, we are just friends, and enjoy each others company. You are really blowing this out of proportion"
"It's only harmless flirting... it's not like I was ever going to meet her or him again"

If you enjoyed this article please checkout:

The does the Bible teach about Marriage?

The Bible promotes a lofty view of marriage, and this is not surprising, for the arrangement was authorized and established by Jehovah God himself. (Genesis 2:21-24) From the beginning, Jehovah purposed that through marriage a man and woman would become “one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) After quoting the passage in the Bible where this is pointed out, Jesus added: “What God has yoked together let no man put apart.”—Matthew 19:6.

Granted, some who marry will later divorce.* When this occurs, however, it is not because of some lack in the marriage arrangement itself; rather, it is because of the failure of one or both mates to live up to their wedding vows.

To illustrate: Suppose a man and woman own a car, but they do not maintain it according to the manufacturer’s instructions. If the car breaks down as a result, who is to blame? The manufacturer or the owners who failed to perform routine maintenance?

The same principle applies to marriage. When a husband and wife maintain their relationship and are determined to work out their problems by applying Bible principles, divorce is far less likely. There is a feeling of security in the marriage because a personal commitment has been made by each spouse. Marriage then becomes the basis for a loving relationship.

How to Build a Successful Marriage

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